I can't get behind this design.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
11/02/2016 at 03:24 • Filed to: I have an opinion

These two houses looked like they were designed over a series of emails and phone calls between four people who don’t know each other’s names.

It has two types roofing. It has the trendy wood paneling that’s all the rage in parts of Seattle and Eastside, but had the stone pillars of contemporary McMansions in Bothell. The garage doors were pulled from the boxy new homes in Issaquah highlands. All of the colors clash. It’s trying to look like too many thing at once. But all that stuff is just tacked on.

I don’t know. Of all the thousands upon thousands of new McMansions, townhomes, contemporary multipurpose dwelling whatevers I’ve seen and worked in around here, these were particular offensive because they seem so dishonest. Thankfully I was working in a wonderful little craftsman house up the street.

DISCUSSION (26)

pip bip - choose Corrour > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 04:34

they look fine to me.

Svend > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 04:58

Of the two I quite like the one on the right with the balcony.

But ye’, the house on the left is a little too ‘busy’ with angles and colours.

E92M3 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 06:15

Just doesn’t flow. Houses with cheaply dressed up fronts, and basic siding on 3 sides are like 350z’s with a skyline front ends molded in. I can tolerate 3 side brick, but this looks like a grandma with a boob job.

Tekamul > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 07:06

Are there really 6 different sizes of window on one small house? Did the house say ‘Lego’ anywhere on the side?

adamftw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 07:09

SHIPLAP

shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 07:12

Put on all the things!

CalzoneGolem > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 07:25

This could be most easily remedied by a coat of paint over that wood. Maybe a shade between the other two.

smobgirl > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 07:28

I’m going to trust that you actually mean craftsman and not the modern crap some people have posted on facebook as “craftsman” lately. And yes the houses you posted are awful. It’s hard to tell in the photo but they’re two separate buildings, right? Have a pet peeve about duplexes that are designed to look like row houses when there are only two units.

(Edit, the craftsman cranky is not aimed at you at all, just people who have no idea what they’re talking about!)

OPPOsaurus WRX > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 07:52

the one on the left almost looks like 3 roofing types. It could just be the photo but the boxed window roof looks black while the garage roof looks maroon.

My theory (from experience) is that the wife watches HGTV all day, copy/pasted her favorite Pinterest photos and said I want all this in one house. doesn’t work. People need to give more trust in their architect.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 08:39

This has been the trend for some time now. The most egregious in our area have a combination of stone, siding, and stucco. They definitely look like a collection of the cheapest “upscale” materials the builder could find and slap together.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 08:49

Yes, this is not design, this is what happens when you build a house one pick-up load at a time and buy all your supplies from different stores blindfolded.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 09:03

I am forever confounded at the appeal of ‘detached’ houses like that.

You do know your neighbors are still within an arm-length from you, right? Sound can still travel that distance. They can see across a 4-foot gap. JUST BECUASE THOSE BUILDINGS DO NOT SHARE WALLS DOES NOT MAKE LIVING IN THEM MORE PRIVATE!

I am so glad I live in the suburbs. My neighbors are 20+ feet away in all directions. Sound does not travel beyond 20 feet. That’s a proven fact.

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 09:07

Irrationally excited by this post because I’ve stayed in Bothell! If you only could have worked in Snohomish and Monroe ....

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 09:21

Gotta love what passes for architecture to all of the mysteriously over-monied drones in the PNW.

Urambo Tauro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 09:39

It’s kind of like a demo house (demo as in demonstration, not demolish).

Frenchlicker > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 11:03

I’m wondering if somebody gave them a budget and said “Give it that 80's mountain home look but not log cabin.” And then they went to work on the front going crazy. Then they said “Ohshit, what about the other sides?” “Let’s just toss the standard cookie cutter house siding on it.”

Rykilla303 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 11:23

i dig it :(

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 11:48

There is one going up in my neighborhood. Stands out like a sore thumb.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 12:55

You should visit http://www.mcmansionhell.com/

DynamicWeight > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 15:39

Kinja'd!!!

I found their truck

Tristan > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/02/2016 at 16:55

I love this site.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > Tristan
11/02/2016 at 16:57

Me too. So much piss and vinegar. Pure gold.

Tristan > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 17:00

I had a choice between a 2,700 sq ft McMansion (with a 3-car garage!) and a 1,500 sq ft 1957 ranch house for nearly identical prices. I love my ranch house.

McMansions make me physically ill. USE ALL THE STYLES! APPLY ALL THE DIFFERENT SIDINGS! BUILD ALL THE WAY TO THE EDGE OF THE LOT! Shit construction with shit materials with shit architecture. If a ranch house is the Camry of houses, these godawful new things are the chromed-out H2 on 28" rimz of houses.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
11/02/2016 at 17:53

This is the product of a checklist-driven culture: valuing quantity over quality.

RPM esq. > smobgirl
11/04/2016 at 18:41

Where do you live? Around Seattle, if he says craftsman, it probably is. It’s pretty much the default style for older homes here.

smobgirl > RPM esq.
11/04/2016 at 20:11

Yeah, I just have friends who are buying/building in new subdivisions around the country who think the houses they’re building are craftsman when really they’re just Modern Hideous. My job dabbles in historic preservation and those sorts of mislabels drive me up the wall.